Approximately 3:00am

Age: 18 years 5 months 13 days

So, I’m at peace about redacted. There’s nothing to worry about, especially in love. If he were the one for me, I couldn’t mess things up with 1 mood swing. It’s not like if I acted differently that one time and hugged him and then we would have been together for the rest of our lives. No, it’s something so trivial and random as a mood swing ( which I haven’t even done anything that I regret)  breaks up the thought of marriage there was nothing deeper there to begin with. I want to be in love, and my guy will be as perfect or more so for me as dating. The more so if it’s not him. Like I will definitely have all the characteristics I like in redacted, and on top of that will be crazy about me.

 With every guy I must be getting closer to my love. And I believe in real love. True love. I will not marry for anything short of true, long-lasting. Even that loves me make me unhappy, like when I doubt that it really exists, or when my lover does something stupid.

 I honestly am not sure that I could keep up with guy eating. He sleeps less than I do, he does more plays and writing than I do movies and scripts, and he is more social. I wouldn’t want a relationship based on competition. No, a friendship is good. And if he’s crazy about me he’ll let me know.

When will love hit me? I’m sure it will happen anytime. But when will love be returned? For now I quiet my beating heart, and live always with the dream. One day…

Redacted has been good for me. He’s inspired me to write, and I’m really enjoying the script. 

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