3:20pm
Age: 18 years 5 months 6 days
I’m done with the other script. A good script is never done of course, not before it goes through a good tweaking. But it is basically done. I like it and I am satisfied that I did something so productive over break.
And now I have this other script, which I am excited about and which has potential. This one can be really good. It could even be my movie.That’s a bit far. The first full-length script I write probably won’t be my movie. I’ll do the best I can with it though.
As for right now I miss redacted. I’m back at Grand Valley, and I keep looking for him. He’s not back though and I understand. I wouldn’t come back here where there are no people to see until school starts.I would spend as much time with friends I don’t get to see as much as I could. That’s what I would choose. The only reason I am back is because I can still see all of those friends with not much hassle at all being back at GVSU. And at GVSU I don’t get in fights with my mom and I can make my own decisions without being accountable to redacted. I get the best of both worlds. If redacted came back he would be away from his parents but also away from his friends. Redacted and I are the only ones here, and healthiest every day that he wants to for the rest of the semester. I would stay with the friends I don’t see as much for the last few days, no matter how much I miss the people back at GVSU. So I completely understand that you’re not being back here. I wouldn’t be here either if it was just to see him. That’s not to say I don’t miss him every day, because I do. But I can live, especially as long as I’m reading or writing. And because I know that I will see him again. That’s the hope I hang on to. That is the part of what makes me think that I could spend every day of the rest of my life with him.
Whoa, that’s cool. The windows at Zumberg Library on the third, fourth, and fifth floors I’m assuming have a ledge. Some girl is lying on it looking out the window. I will do that sometime. It would be a good view. That would be a fun place to read. I would do it now, but I’m in lower Kerkhoff looking across the pond at her. It makes me want to be higher up, like on a roof or something. Actually, I wonder if I can print things at the library, because I would love to print a final(ish) copy of my script. I will go over there when I am done.
So is there anything new to add to my lover’s script? The separation is longer than the girl expected, but she still claims on to the hope of seeing him again. How does he die? Definitely not by war! No, this is not a love story torn apart by an actual War. Maybe an emotional War though… An inner battle. I struggle to find oneself? And how does he die? Suicide? Does he take his own life? He has a love that is so strong! Is it a Romeo death? He thinks that she is dead? He is willing to die for love, love being his God. Does love save him in the end though? In the life after death? No, he comes to see that love is shallow without God. It can’t be whole without all of its components. Hold on… I was just reviewing previous entries and came upon This quote:
“ If gods do evil then they are not gods” – Euripedes
That can be my argument for why love is not God on its own! Love without God is selfish in that it only thinks about the person or object of its desire and nothing else surrounding it. Love is blind to other people. A lover might kill for love’s sake. There needs to be a situation in the script where love is shown doing evil in the name of love. Love cannot be a God then. But love is a main component of the almighty God, the truth. Love is a part of the whole, not the whole. It’s one of the most important parts, but not the most important. In this way, we see that love by itself is incomplete. Wonderful! Love needs God to triumph.
This love should be eternal once it is complete (whole). Therefore in life the love must be without God, then find God. This is not humanly eternal love, like the story of Romeo and Juliet, which only echoes in human eternity. When the world ends it will not live on. My love lives past the world’s end. It lives on in eternity. Real eternity. It’s the love we want to have. Real love in the utmost sense.
I am excited again for this first. I don’t want to give up on it. I will continue to work out the details and note events from life.
How does this love go from shallow to complete? I do not know yet.
I’m going to the library. I would like to print off the script.
Can’t get enough? Subscribe to my diary newsletter!
http://www.diaryofamindweird.com
And/or support me on Patreon to find out my current thoughts on my past self:
Mindweird 
Leave a Reply