Approximately 7:00pm
Age: 18 years, 4 months, 23 days
We’re at Fort Wilderness, the Disney Campground. It’s really nice, but reminds me of camping over spring break with redacted, redacted, redacted, and redacted. I miss them and wish they were here. Soon redacted, redacted, and redacted will be gone. Thank goodness. I do not have the patience to have kids. I also don’t have the attention to watch them. I get so lost in thought that I don’t see anything. I am guaranteed to lose them if I take them anywhere. I even lose them in my house.
I don’t want a kid or kids because that means I have to be responsible enough to have a big house, a steady job, and enough to get them good clothes and keep them as a member of society. They would hate me for not having enough money, buying them popularity. I wouldn’t be able to pack up and leave when I feel like it. I couldn’t live with few possessions because they have to live. kids Thai people down. They take away some part of your freedom. Sure, loving them and learning from them can be the best part of a person’s life, the hardest trial in the largest gain, but I don’t think that I want it. I don’t want to give up a part of myself. I don’t want to be stuck in a place. I don’t want to be required to have a job, a house, food. I don’t want to be separated from my husband by the kids. I don’t want to be divided on how to raise them.
It’s not that I don’t like kids. I like them a lot. But having a kid is so much. I’ve tried as hard as possible to teach them how to live and appreciate life. In the end, it’s not my decision. The kid will find life on his / her own. I wouldn’t know how to begin raising them. It’s such a day-to-day basis. The best I could do is hang on for the ride and try to really know and understand them.
And the thought of raising more than one kid, it’s more than I can handle.
Is raising a kid the way I want to spend the rest of my life? They are a lifetime commitment. I don’t think I’m ready for such self-sacrifice. I know that I’m not ready for it. I’m not sure that I ever will be.
I can’t see myself as a good mother. My kids would probably hate me for leaving them, or trying to do my own thing, not being there. Things would be like how things were with redacted. It’s unfortunate I hated her for so long. The wound is deep and she didn’t deserve it.
Aye, redacted and redacted are back. At least it’s not redacted and redacted. They’re the loud ones.
Well, I’m not going to get either script done if I wait for a day to be disposed of my own will. I’ll have to use free times like these and work on it piece by piece.
_________________________________________ (break , not a long one)_____________
So I read the story of Jason and the Argonauts last night. There was a love story but told as a product of the Gods schemes. The girl fell in love because of cupid Arrow, fired at I believe Venus’s will, but it could have been Athena’s wheel.
It would be fun to have the God’s divine plan looking down on the actual love story, which is still very much from the perspective of the lovers. It will be a bit like Archibald Macleish’s play Job – I think that’s the correct name of the author. Then the gods will be actual characters in the script, not simply external ( more internal) forces.
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