About 2:45am
Age: 18 years 4 months 21 days
Whatever happened to the human race?
- Are humans only machine? → mechanistic view, impersonal Universe, loss of God
- Roe versus Wade → abortion case
- heart develops first, then brain
- Man created in the image of God
- won’t stand for a place where only perfect, privileged and planned kids survive. Gattaca
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So basically, all I want to do is write. I don’t know why that is, but I love it. I love that I’m filling a page in, recording my life, and trying to produce something creative and meaningful. How wonderful to actually want to write.
I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have more inspiration for the story ( I don’t think) and I do also want to start thinking about the fun script as a Christmas present for redacted, redacted, redacted, and possibly redacted. It would be a great Christmas present to write them a script about our lives and I’ll have fun doing it. I do need to concentrate on that for a while though to get it done before I see them. That stuff is easier since it’s actually events from our lives. I’m just recording them and arranging it. I’d also like to make up backgrounds for each character explaining how we got our crew and how we ended up together. This will be fun. I want to do it too. Seriously, the script is the plan for my vacation in Florida. Writing it sounds like the best time ever. I’ll have a blast.
Oh, the anticipation is there, and I’m forming things in my head. I need to actually start. This is going to happen, or I will make a valid attempt and have some product, no matter how horrible it comes out of my efforts. Yeah!
As for now, it’s not the time to start. I don’t have the energy. The good thing though, I don’t miss redacted in an unbearable way. I would love to see him, but this preserves him, or makes me feel like I’m with him. Or maybe I just wanted to feel that way and I’m blinded by a temporary form of love and someday we’ll look back on it as foolishness. Then again, he could be the one, and there is that glimmer of hope that I hold onto, always. And I cling to that hope even if the guy is wrong for me, like redacted, and redacted. I like to dream. And this time apart from redacted would be so miserable if I weren’t writing a story about love loosely based on our moments together. Moments is the wrong word; the word that I want to use escapes me. But yes, how fun to even try to preserve these times.
Things may not last, and I’m a find out he’s not the one and this will still be great. I don’t regret my dreams ( I don’t think).
I want the script to include something about dreams. The love was in her head? It passed like a dream? “ Only in dreams can men be truly free, twas always thus and always thus will be”. I like that quote. Anyway… Dreams? I don’t want it to all be a dream like waking life but there’s something to this. I don’t know what though. And I’m done for the night I think. Time to retire. So I guess I quit for the night. 🙂
“Once you’ve found true love, how do you make it last forever?” Renee Zellweger from Bridget Jones’s Diary
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