Age: 18 year 3 months 16 days
I want to talk to you and not really at all. No, I don’t actually want to talk. Oh man, I just read some of my thoughts, and I want to know more. And I want to use my time better. We do need a schedule. I have so much to learn. And I’d like to strengthen my dedication to film and to philosophy. No more trying to waste days.
Redacted is too good for me. It’s sad, especially because he has the elements I like the most in the people I’ve liked most. He cares about me the way redacted dude. He hugs me like redacted did. Just all around too good for me. Too perfect. I must not know him well enough, but I don’t want to change a thing about him. He’s one of the most intelligent people I’ve met. He’s well-rounded. He’s good at everything. He does sports and theater. He’s funny and witty. I can’t keep up. I’m not good at everything. I can’t do math anymore. I don’t know science. I’m not even graded film. And my knowledge of actual works by philosophers is minimal. And all I can think of when I see him is “ I wish you would dump his girlfriend and marry me”. What’s wrong with me? I can’t keep up with him.
And so, I’ve met another one of the best guys in the entire world. Why wouldn’t I want to marry him? I can’t see the big picture. I can’t see why he’s wrong. I can only hope that he’s the right guy and then it’s a joke to think I deserve him. It’s a joke. You should have someone much more beautiful, athletic, intelligent, and street-smart than me. I am perfectly happy with who I am. I love myself in fact, possibly to the point of vanity. But I don’t know how I could keep up with him. All I know is that if he broke up with his girlfriend and asked me out I would only hesitate to talk with you. Apart from that, I don’t fear dating him in the least. I date him any second. But I’ll wait. You’re still my God, and I love and trust your infinite wisdom and knowledge of my husband. Let him be as wonderful as all the guys I’ve loved. And I’m sorry if I’m doing this wrong. I really won’t sacrifice my relationship with you or any part of your plan. You’re will first. I want your plans to be the desire of my heart.
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