Age: 18 year 2 months 25 days
Yeah, so I had good stuff that I needed to think about last night, but I couldn’t find it in myself to put the effort into writing. I was tired and figured that sleep was good. Well, I still don’t want to write, and I still should write.
I met one of redacted’s friends yesterday. She was this liberal hippie and I both liked her and disliked her. I hate it how she thought she knew everything. She was like all the other liberal hippies. I realize that I tried to put myself above her. I’m more intelligent and more unique. I always do that. It’s a security thing. Instead I need to love and value everyone as unique individuals with knowledge that I don’t have.
Anyway, I was thinking… We’re the only creatures who messed up your will ( other than fallen angels). We desired knowledge to become more like you. So we disobeyed you and yet you love us the most? It doesn’t make sense. I guess that we are more like you in the sense that we have knowledge of Good and Evil, and are able to think in terms of evil. But we are least like you because I would have everything, we are not perfect, and the rest are ( other than fallen angels).
So, since love is your nature, you define love, you love all of your creation. You can’t love us more or less than other creatures, can you? Can you love us more because we love you? I mean, all the rest of your creation loves you, but we choose to love you and they love you because they’re perfect and compliant to your will. But if you love everything, you love us just the same. I’m not sure about that argument, and I don’t feel like logically analyzing to see if its sound.
So you just love me because you are love? You fixed me, and made one perfect in you, in order to fix Injustice towards you. I have to choose to live in your will, fixed and covered by Jesus’s blood in order to live a normal existence. Like I can’t live at all a meaningful life without being covered by Jesus. Of course I’ve believed that all along. It’s beginning to make more sense.
Living outside of your will, how can that be? It’s not living. You have to choose the truth or not live at all.
Next topic, since the desire for knowledge was our downfall, it actually was the desire to be more like you. Is my desire for knowledge the worst thing I could do? No, since we are fallen for all humanity because of knowledge of Good and Evil, should we know as much as possible. I guess it doesn’t matter except that knowledge helps me grow closer to you. I guess I can’t grow closer to you.. Do we have a relationship? This is frustrating. Where does it say we will have a relationship with you? Where did we get that idea? I think it’s in the Bible. I hope it is. Can I be done for now? Well, I am.
Can’t get enough? Subscribe to my diary newsletter!
http://www.diaryofamindweird.com
And/or support me on Patreon to find out my current thoughts on my past self:
Mindweird 
Leave a Reply