Age: 18 year 1 months 19 days
12:36am
Hi. Today wasn’t the best day. I got in a bad mood when I got back to the house and talked with redacted. My heart is heavy. I don’t feel like being nice to people or talking. No, I don’t really feel like talking to you. I don’t know what to say.
Yesterday was a really good day. Hey, I love you more than redacted. I want to be with you more than I want to be with him. And I’m trying to not be ashamed of your good news. Yes, it is the best news, and yes, everyone needs you. It’s hard to think about how I’m sure of you though, and relay that to others. I am sure, but I want to know how.
I want to live. I want to change. Honestly I do. I want you to affect every part of my life as to make a radical difference in all that I do. I honestly want that. It’s hard for me to tell people about you though. I believe my thing and they can believe theirs. I’m trying, but that’s not good enough. I’m being selfish, and I’d rather live for others in order that they may also know you.
Bible study was good yesterday. You pointed things out to me. I did want to hear it, because I really want to change. I can’t go through life knowing that you are real and not helping others come to know it.
It was really great staying up late with redacted also. I loved it. We had some very good conversations.
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