Age: 18 year 0 months 25 days
(mistakenly put 7/23 in the diary entry)
I am furious. I am furious. I am so angry at myself and I’m shifting the blame to everything else. But no, I’m furious at myself. I don’t even want to think about what happened.
God, I’m so angry. I’m not angry at you, how could I be? Dang it. No! I can say “ why did you send me to the council meeting? Why did you bring TEC upon me again?” But this issue runs deeper. I chose last night to ignore what you told me to do. I said no and woke up furious at myself.
TEC Council. Ugh? I guess it’s good to see my faults so clearly but oh how I messed up! How can I be forgiven when I knew fully what I was doing? I did it on purpose. I have no excuses. I can think of many, but they’re nothing.
I lost you. No, I pushed you out. I can’t believe what I did. We have to talk, I have to think…
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