August 21, 2004

Age: 18 year 0 months 23 days

(I mistakenly put 7/21 in the diary entry)

Hey God. I’ve been watching quite a few movies lately and it’s torture. When will it be time for the guy I want to want me back? It’s so rare that I even find a guy want. It would be so nice if redacted were for me. But it is a dream. How can I even hope that he returns my feelings.

God, take this. I’ll be patient. It will be better in your time and I can wait. Help me to refrain from making advances. Redacted can come after me, or someone else. It’s hard to dream and then find myself in reality.

But God, I am going to see redacted tomorrow. I guess that wasn’t a question. Fine if you do not want me to see redacted tomorrow. I will stay away and even skip the TEC meeting I planned. I’d like to go to church though, mainly I guess to see him. I like learning about you too.

Help redacted. Be with him now. Make things clear to him. God, bring him close to you. I’m sorry for being selfish in my prayers. I really do care about him. Us is secondary. God help redacted. Help him not to be angry, or let him work out his anger. Give him things to do in ways he can praise you. Give him life.

Help me to be understanding and use me if you can help redacted.

Thank you for redacted. She’s a blessing and thank you so much for using her to talk to redacted. She saw things I couldn’t and helped him with her honesty.

God, I love you first. You are my true love and I am happy with what you have given me. I do not need more.


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