Age: 18 year 0 months 8 days
I just got home from hot tubbing with redacted and folks. They drove. They like me enough to do that.
God, help redacted. It’s hard to realize that you’re not right for the person you want to marry. She’s coming to accept this with her and redacted. It’s a lot like what happened with me and redacted.
God, crap, I thought I didn’t have anything to write about redacted, but I do. Please, I love him. All night I wanted to be with him, and I was. I had fun. I laughed out of my heart, but cruel words still came out of my mouth.
I want to marry him, but the time is not right for me to get married and it is not certain that he is right for me. God, that’s why I’m coming back to ask you for help. See, I don’t want things between me and redacted to be similar to things to redacted and redacted. I thought I loved redacted and it killed me when you showed me he wasn’t the one. That was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Redacted is experiencing it now, so comfort her. That was hard, help her to accept that you have better plans and someone perfect for her.
I really want redacted to be perfect for me, but I’m not going to pretend that he’s someone he’s not and I’m not going to be someone else for him.
God, I don’t need to write this out. I know your plan and I’m not worried that he isn’t right. I’m writing this so I don’t screw things up by straying from your will and end up hurt like I was with redacted. Redacted is different, and redacted could be right. God take this. At least let me learn something from my desire to be with him. I actually already have learned a lot about myself and my tendencies.
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