Age: 17 years 11 months 13 days

God, I’m about ready to go to TEC and I’m angry and hurt. I’m mad at redacted because I really want him to want me. It’s not something I can make him do though.

I don’t want to go angry at him. I don’t know how I can change though. There is something wrong. If you were to ask I would have to say “ I don’t know” because I can’t tell him that I’m hurt because he hasn’t been pursuing me so I don’t know if there’s a future.

I don’t want to be angry at him. There’s no reason to be. I’m hurt, that’s why I’m upset.

God, let things go better between redacted and me today. I don’t want to be hurt. I want to be his friend. Don’t let me be mean to him, no matter how much I hurt.

The thing that gets me is all have to smile and act happy when I am really in despair. I wanted to know who my husband is.

God, I’m not going to chase after redacted. I guess it will be good to see him. It will really kill me if he’s apathetic again.

God, I’m waiting for you and my guy to step up to the plate. I’m glad this is in your time because you know what’s best. And I’m so glad you’re here with me. I couldn’t get through this without you.

Don’t give me hope and redacted if there is none. I’d rather take the pain now then continue on deceiving myself. It will be good to see all of them again though. I want to talk to redacted and redacted. I miss them. Be with me today. I won’t go without you. 

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