Age: 17 years 11 months 12 days

God, I know I’m doing wrong with redacted. I’ve been the initiator. I’ve been flirting. I’ve been calling him; I asked him to prom. I always call him to see what he’s doing. It’s not right. Nope, he can call me today or we’re not doing anything. I’m not going to be the guy. No, he can pursue me, and he will if he loves me. I am not calling him today though. Maybe at 6 p.m. if redacted and redacted still want to see him. We’re supposed to do something before then. He knows it. I told him yesterday that he had to call me. I won’t call him and make plans.

Seriously, if you wants to call me he can. I’m sick of being the guy. It’s wrong. It’s not how you made things. This shows that my feelings are probably one-sided. I can’t do anything until he takes the initiative.

I’m happy about not calling him today. We’ll see how things work out in the future also. If he doesn’t pursue me obviously is not your will God, and I trust you. I can deal with that. I only want to engage in marriage relationships.

And he just called me…  okay God, that’s still not going to make me believe this is your will. He has to start working okay. No flirting initially on my part today. We’ll see how things go.

See I did call him once today, but I woke him up, so we didn’t talk. Then I read the book “Quest for Love”  and realized I’ve been the initiator. Then I resolved not to call him anymore. So I think he was just returning my call, I’m not convinced of anything more. I trust you God and give this to you. 

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