Age: 17 years 10 months 8 days

Oh wow, yesterday went to battle of the bands to see redacted and redacted and her friend redacted came with me. I didn’t have a blast, but I had a good time and I knew that being there was not a waste of my time. It wasn’t one of those meaningless activities where I ran around with my head cut off. No, you reassured me that my time was well spent. And it was. In the car, redacted told me that she actually had fun. She said that she hadn’t had fun in a long time, but she actually had fun last night. She explained how she had been doing activities, but after them she couldn’t really say she enjoyed herself. But last night she did! How wonderful is that? She’s amazing God, the way she sticks up for you and openly talks intelligently with her friends who don’t believe in you. I was so impressed with her being able to redacted about Satanism. And it’s amazing how she tells her friends not to drink or do drugs and it’s sad when they do. God, she’s amazing. You have big plans for her. Continue to be with her and keep her out of trouble. I’m overjoyed that I see her finding you and growing more and more. And she’s becoming happy!

God, today has been a wonderful day. I went to Mars Hill this morning and he talked about communion and the depth behind the symbol. The lesson was very insightful but what stuck out the most was the little time he took to explain how he and his family observe the Sabbath. They take this one day of the week and try not to worry about getting things done, creating things, to remember that you are the Creator. They try to take things slow and relax and you, honoring you with their day.

That really stuck out, so I decided that since today is my Sabbath I would get rid of my agenda and live as the day came. As a result, redacted took us out to lunch, and I had a great time with her. We didn’t fight in end up mad at each other because I was relaxed and wasn’t pressured to do something else.

I laid down most of the day because I felt horrible because of my period. But I also fit in all the other things that needed to be prepared for my cottage tonight in a stress-free atmosphere. I trusted they would get done and they did. I also had enough time to play my drums and now I have time to sit outside and relax even more and you. This has been the best day in such a long time. It’s so good to take time and not run around and to slow down. This day has been so wonderful and in an hour I’m going to go to my cottage with my best friends and relax and you there. God, please let us take things slow at the cottage and give us peace. I want to give my agenda to you. I really want to grow closer to you through my wonderful community on this trip. We haven’t officially given this trip to you and I am nervous about that. But each individual is planning their own God time and I hope to have many good discussions with them. I’m really looking forward to alone time with you. And to read or just sit out by myself. I’ve managed to squeeze out a few of those moments recently but these next few days they should just come. Rejuvenate me on this trip and let our friendships grow even deeper. I want to get closer to all of them.

Help me not to get annoyed with redacted. Help me to love her, and not let gossip break us up. Help me to refrain from saying anything negative about her even though I’m sick of her company. It won’t be awful with her there. I like her sometimes. So help me be patient and love her the way you love her. It’s really hard not to gossip when other people are annoyed with her also, but help us. We’re splitting up our community and allowing Satan in by doing so. Give us all patience and your wisdom.

I’m excited that redacted is coming even though he may get annoying. He’ll be a lot of fun and is sure to bring a lot to the trip. Give us patience with him too, and don’t let anyone look down on him. He’s got a great faith in you and we can learn a lot from him. Help us to remember that.

I don’t want to put anyone down on this trip. We’re here to build each other up in to fall even more in love with you. And the cottage is a great place to do that. It’s away from the world and away from a lot of the traps of the world. There aren’t as many distractions. I love the cottage.

God, I’ve been worried about this trip being meaningless or not honoring to you because we make it all about ourselves. I really don’t want it to be about us relaxing and getting away, I want it to be about serving you and finding rest in you. So take this trip before it starts, and don’t let us turning into something meeting with. Use me wherever I needed to bring meaning to this trip.

Oh, and give me wisdom while interacting with redacted. I have been flirting with him so much and I don’t want to dishonor you. Let us talk if we need to. Help me not to fall all over him. It’s really hard to keep from hugging him and never letting him go. I love him so much. I love the friendship we have. He is my best friend and I want to be completely honest with him. I don’t want to lie to him. Guide our conversations. Maybe we’ll talk about us. Our friends have been talking about us a lot and I’m sure redacted has been thinking about it. Give us wisdom about the future. Don’t let us screw things up. Let my words be honest and truthful. If we’re avoiding things that need to be confronted, bring them up. I would like to tell him all I’ve been thinking, but the time may not be right. If it is, we have a lot to talk about. Give us all the time we need.

You’ve been wonderful with giving me enough time, even though sometimes I fail to use it.

God, I love you. I love talking to you. I love learning more about you. I love how you complete me and how I find my purpose in you. You’re more wonderful than words, if that makes any sense at all. I can’t believe you’ve picked me, and use me, and love me, and forgive me because I’m quite stupid and don’t catch on quickly. I waste my time, and you still use me. I’m so blessed. And you’ve given me hope and a future husband. I may marry redacted, and that’s so exciting and incomprehensible. I would love to spend the rest of my life with him. Let us do things right, to the best of our ability. Give me passion, and help me to always give my heart / my all for you. I’ll go where you take me, maybe with a fight, but I’ll go. I love you God. You’re too good to me. We still have a little while until they get here. Anything you want to tell me? I’ll stop talking as soon as I ask you to help prepare me for being a table leader at the next TEC.  I’m nervous and excited and fully confident that this is your will for me. Tell me if I’m wrong. Humble me if I need it. But I swear you told me I’ll be table leader and I’ll leave it one hundred percent until you tell me otherwise. It will be embarrassing if I’m not, but that shows I’m not listening to you at all, and I need that slap in the face. I still believe it to be beyond doubt though. Give me some warning if it’s not. All right, I am going to be a table leader. There’s no doubt God. Yep.

Anything more to tell me? I’ll listen now, and soon maybe wait for my friends? Alright… talk to me, haha! 

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