Age: 17 years 9 months 3 days
God, I’ve lost it. I’ve gone insane. I love redacted. I don’t want to live life without them and I really could marry them and be with them the rest of my life and that’s completely not crazy. They make sense. The thing is, I’m completely myself around them, and I have never been anyone else. Loving them makes me a better person and they help me love you more. It’s crazy. I can’t have found my partner yet. I want to marry them. Not yet. No, I’ll wait forever for them. God, we’re not going to date. I’m not going to consider them my partner. I don’t need to see them everyday (though I’d like that). If we love each other in a few years, I’ll marry them. Keep them in my life forever. I’m staying myself around them. Don’t let me change, but do let me grow.
I feel better now. I can think about other things. Redacted brought up swearing. They said they hate swearing because it corrupts the soul. Something like that. I’ve been meditating on it, because I’m not sure swearing effects someone so deeply. Deteriorating the soul? Corrupting one’s inner being? Can Christians swear? Sure, and they do but full-time Christians don’t swear all the time. There is something degrading about swearing. It does seem to lower oneself. Why don’t I swear? Because it’s degrading and words shouldn’t be used to lower other people and one self. Swearing does affect the swearie a great deal. It hardens one’s heart and makes one apathetic. The words are bland and meaningless and take away passion. They turn one’s heart heart intend to make one blind and more accepting to sin. Swearing is part of a whole lifestyle of sin.
That being said, people who do swear have value. Their souls are not lost, and they are not wretched people. They are the common meaningless words to express how they are feeling. The words take on meaning in their context. People understand what the words mean in context in by the way they are verbalized. The concepts they portray aren’t meaningless. The words are simply used carelessly, without thought, and without the realization of their power of apathy and control. They seem to be used in ignorance, not ignorance of the meaning, but ignorance of their damage effects on one’s own self. The words, in turn, harden the speaker’s heart to the sins of the world. They make sins familiar and comfortable. So, though there are good times to use the words in full passion in order to relate to others the intense passion of hate or anger you feel at the moment, regular use in replace of common language is damaging because it advocates social conformity without realization, making one ignorant of the effects. Sin becomes regular and words lose meaning, or fail to express passionate ideas.
Can’t get enough? Subscribe to my free diary newsletter!
http://www.diaryofamindweird.com
And/or support me on Patreon to find out my current thoughts on my past self:

Leave a Reply