Age: 17 years 8 months 24 days

Yikes, yesterday was such a bad day with redacted and it crept over into bit today. They wonder why I don’t listen to them or respect them. I’m not sure why. I don’t get along with them at all. They annoy the heck out of me, especially when other people are around. They seem so fake and unstable. I don’t look up to them. Their reasoning doesn’t make any sense to me. They’re stubborn, and I guess that in that way I am like them. I like that they’re trying to get their life in order and actually start living, but as a role model, I don’t see it. They’ve made countless mistakes. But they have good qualities, like how they dedicate a lot to take care of us. And I guess I’ve learned from their mistakes. I don’t hate them, I just don’t want to deal with them anymore. It’s so hard for me to be a Christian around them. I guess that’s why I need to stick things out with them. It may help me grow, maybe not. But I need to be at a point where I can be a Christian to them.

God, I’ve messed up really bad. I don’t want to leave you. Please let me lower my pride and help us reconcile. I’m willing to talk to them. Ah,  But the things they do and the way they do it does piss me off so much. I want today to be a better day. On the plus side, it’s good to be at school and have this social interaction. I’ve had a lot of fun today. It’s not so bad. And I love Calvin. It’s a great school and I am really happy when I go there.

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