Age: 17 years 8 months 16 days
It’s 7:46 in the morning. I actually got up early today because I fell asleep so early. I’m really mad at myself that I didn’t do devotions. God I miss you! Like I’ve been saying all morning, I want you in my life today. I want to do what you want me to it’s hard to remember your will when I have so many things I have to do. Anyway I can’t bear life without you. I love you so much and it kills me to think that I may not live today for you. Give me peace and a focus on you. Please let me be near you. Show me your will as the day unfolds. Don’t leave me. Remind me in my work that the work is for you. Today is a new day. I give it to you.
Do you know what a wonderful day it’s been so far? ( It’s 8:05 p.m. by the way)
Today has been a freaking awesome day. I was in the best mood ever. And I was so self-confident at school. I had fun at school! I laughed in my classes. I made jokes. I goofed around. I talked to people I hadn’t talked to you in ages. At Calvin, I talked to everyone in Psych class. I said hi to people when I passed them. I was so social. I haven’t been that social at school in a while. It has been a wonderful day. I played drums forever. The temperature was awesome. I spent time outside! I was in a good mood with redacted. We civilly talked. It’s been such a great day. Absolutely wonderful. And guess what, it’s all because of you God! I want every day to be for you. I wish I could get up early every morning start the day right. Sorry that it doesn’t work. Yes I could try it again, but you know I’m no good in the morning. I don’t think I’ll try. 5 minutes early? It doesn’t work. When? Well I’m getting ready. I’ll make a point to talk to you in the morning. Okay? We’ll see how things go.
Anyway, I’m getting a bit stressed about the homework I should do. As a result I don’t want to do any of it. But I love films. God help me to write redacted’s film. Guide me. This one is for you. Also, help me with the TEC video. Help me get some great footage and work things out with the car. I know that it’s stressful for redacted so help them to not worry so much. Give them peace.
Redacted’s coming to TEC. What to pray about for them? Okay, God forgive me my doubts in your power. Reveal yourself to them this weekend beyond a doubt. I know that they will have encountered you. I have doubts that they will be able to give up their lifestyle and lay down their pride for you though. I realize that in this doubt, I am doubting your impact in your magnificence. I am doubting that you are wonderful enough to change redacted’s life after they meet you. I’m sorry for my doubt. I believe that they will put their trust in you after the weekend. I feel that they already has made a step or two towards you. God, show them your splendor. Yes, I know you will. I want you to be enough for them. I want them to be happy. They haven’t been happy and so long. I pray that they will soften their heart and open their ears to you. Let redacted’s talk blow them away (and the other talks of course). And give them a real friend, not just someone who is there for them at TEC. Help them to open up, pour their heart out and give everything to you. But do give them the support of a real friend. They need friends almost as much as they needs you. I’m serious when I say all this. I want them in your arms, and nothing will make me happier than when it happens. God, let me be there for them if they need me. I would love to talk and play more of a part in helping them know you. But it doesn’t matter if I pray with them or if someone else prays. Just let me be there at the right times. And I’m so excited that they’re actually going! It’s a miracle, and I know you’re behind it.
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