Age: 17 years 8 months 15 days

I’m tired. And I’m thinking. I want to write this movie. I just want a short script about God that I can use for redacted’s video. I care so much about making it perfect though that the idea is barely there. I can’t settle for any ideas that don’t fully work.

Then on the other hand I am thinking about redacted. I love them so much and I don’t want to lose our friendship with time. I want to grow closer and closer to them. I wish I were attracted to them. I wish they were the one for me. But I can’t make it anything more. The attraction isn’t there. The love I have for them is so deep though. I don’t want to live without them. I’m not attracted to them, but I wish I were. I wish they were perfect for me and that I could spend the rest of my life with them. But they’re not, and I don’t wish that. It’s an odd conflict. I always want them in my life. 

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