February 27, 2004

Age: 17 years 6 months 29 days

I don’t think that I like redacted anymore. It’s kind of sad. I mean, I would love to like them, and love for them to be the right person for me. But I just want to be friends for a long while, or at least until we go to college. I love them. I love how crazy they are, but we may not be good for each other. We could be, but I don’t know. Anyway, I’m great with being friends and never rushing anything. If it’s real, it will continue on in a year or two. But yeah, I would like to know them much better as a friend before anything happens. They’re still super cute though. I like a lot of things about them, but I need to know them better.

Anyway, I met with redacted yesterday and it was great. We get along really well and I would like to continue building a friendship. God, it was great. We talked about you. They told me what is going on in their life, all of their struggles and things. They really are an amazing person and I’m glad that you put them in my life. They feel removed from you, like you are testing them. They want to know what the future will be like for them, but you’re not telling them. That’s so frustrating. But God, they’ve got a good head. They cling to the hope you give them in those small doses. Don’t let them lose sight of you during this testing. I know that you will rescue them if they start the fall.

Also, this makes me anxious about you testing me. I’m sure it will happen soon. I’ll start praying to you and you’ll feel distance, removed. I don’t want to go through this testing period, but since it helps me throw it will be all right.

I still want a Bible study but I don’t want to start one, I want to have one. I can’t lecture, but we can meet and learn from each other. That’s a much better plan. Plus, everyone else has something they can teach the rest of us. I can’t be the only one teaching. My knowledge is insufficient.


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