Age: 17 years 6 months 13 days
My head is in the clouds. I’m just spinning. I’m so happy. What a great day. Redacted asked to go to church! They asked!, I screamed with joy when I heard it. It’s so amazing. God, we prayed so hard. Now let me be what they need me to be. I wish I were here for them Friday. Help me not to say anything stupid or offensive. But guess what I am doing Friday? Going to South Christian’s dance with redacted. I like him. I want to say that now, because I may not like him later, and I love the friendship we have now. And nothing may happen. But that’s okay because I don’t know the future, and I am open to it. If they like me or not, right now I can’t deny that I like them. I don’t think that it is realistic that we will get married, or even date. But that doesn’t matter. It’s going to be great on Friday. God, everything is great. And God, if anything happens (more) between redacted and me (whether I want it to or not) I give it all to you. I wish you would just tell me everything, but then I wouldn’t be living life would I? And I would rather have life with all of its surprises than the knowledge of things to come. So right now I like them.
And that’s life. There is nothing logical in it, but I still can’t deny the fact. And it’s not dependent on whether they like me. It’s weird liking someone when it’s not a sure thing or even a thing I can see working at all. Eh, I’m okay with that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be more cautious. I just wanted to remember that as scared as I am to get involved with anyone, I’m open. God if anything happens, it will be for your glory.
Well God, I love redacted, and I want them to find you. Now I am not convinced that I need to tell them about you. But that’s just me being lazy. Give me courage to stand up for my one and only belief that truly matters. And help me to love them more than I do, but I love them so much. I want them to know you with all of my heart and you know it kills me that they feel so alone. I want to be everything I can be to them but they need your friendship. You know that. Please let them still come to church Sunday. I know that Satan will be trying his hardest. But beat him. Beat him! Don’t let him get in the way of coming to know you. Remove the obstacles he will put in her path. And give me the courage. Remove Satan from my own life. I desire you, not him.
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