Age: 17 years 5 months 27 days
Guess what? I’m watching TV again. But this is kind of worth it because it’s TV about movies. I am watching the Golden Globe Awards. I almost cried when they described Tim Burton films because I want my films to be described that way:“ Always original, striking visuals” and I can’t remember the rest of it but it was great. I really hope that I can put a great movie together.
Anyway, I heard from Michigan but they didn’t receive the teacher recommendation from [redacted teacher]. I’ll see what’s up with that tomorrow before I freak out. It won’t help anything if I freak out and I’m sure I still have the same chances of getting in.
It’s going to be so hard to make a movie. That’s okay. There’s nothing I want to do more. Why? Because I have ideas to share with the world and I can do it wonderfully through film. I’m just not sure what those ideas are yet or how I’m going to portray them but it will be great. I think I’ll have to work on my vocabulary since I want to write my own script. I might even take acting classes so I know how to talk to the actors or know what they’re going through.
I want to make a movie that really inspires people. I want them to dream after seeing my movie. My movie will make people think, feel, seek, dream, live, love, cry, inspire, motivate. I want to address death. Maybe have something to do with pictures (photographs / still shots). I’m going to do this. I’m going to make a movie, God willing.
I don’t like to think that it is a possibility that God doesn’t want me to make a movie because if that’s true, then I’m not making a movie. Why? Not because It’s impossible to make a movie without God, but because I love him and it’s not worth fighting his will. God I trust you. If you don’t want me to make a movie, you have a better plan for me. The movie is not worth giving up you. I say all of this still planning on making the movie, so it’s not that hard to say. There will be a battle if you asked me not to make the movie. I can’t guarantee that I will fight you and deny you as long as I can if that happens, but I won’t be able to go through with it without you. I’ll stop watching TV for a minute.
As you know, I want to make the best movie more than anything. I love having this dream and I can’t think of anything better to dream about. But I don’t want to separate you from my work. You have to be a part of the film, and though this is never my first thought, I would like the film to be honorable to you. That’s harder to do. I know that as I become more and more convinced of your truth I’ll be able to boldly portray your values and ideas and not separate them from my movie. In the meantime, I want to make a great movie that may not feature you, but it will contain your tropes and insights about the world. Where else do I drive my knowledge from?
Stop me now if you’re going to stop me later down the line. I don’t want to spend years of my life striving for a dream that you decide is not worth my time. Maybe I’m not really listening to you. I don’t hear you stopping me, but I’m not exactly deeply talking to you, or listening to you for that matter.
I want my movie to tell the world something true. That could be about you. (I rhymed on purpose). It’s possible that I’m so interested in movies because it creates a different reality. It really does mean living in another world. It’s anything I want it to be. And it has the power to affect people all over the world.
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