Age: 16 years 11 months 12 days
Hi God,
How are you? I am soooo tired. and it’s very cold out here. I don’t think I will go on the tube trip today. I hope that we don’t do the wall for cabin initiatives but I guess that is pretty cool one to accomplish.
So what’s up? What do you want to tell me? This week has been going better and yes, I’ve had fun. There are cool people here that I do care about so thank you for showing me that.
Last night service was pretty cool. Let’s talk about that. The words that they were singing and the Jesus Freak stories didn’t touch me that much and are the kind of repeats of things I’ve heard. But it did get me thinking what would I do for you? Anything? Would I lose friends like redacted for you? Would I be bold and telling others about you? Would I stand up against the crowd? I would like to do these things for you God. I don’t want to waste my time here on Earth. But I know, I don’t know if I really want to do it. Like when I have free time I use it for myself, not for you. Would I give up my time. I’d like to say yes, but the truth is, I’m not going to live every moment for you. I would like to, but I really don’t feel it at this moment, so if it’s your will continue changing my heart.
Well, camp’s almost over, and I’m kind of happy about that. I want to go see my other friends like redacted but I’m glad that you brought me here. I’ve learned stuff and I know that there’s been a change in my heart.
Well God, I don’t have much heavy stuff on my mind right now, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to talk to you, I just don’t know what to say. The weather here isn’t very nice, but I’m not complaining (probably because it doesn’t affect me very much).
Oh God, I’ve been thinking about singing sessions and around the campfire. Yesterday I didn’t really feel much but I know that you were there and I like talking to you. I’ve just been having a huge problem singing if I don’t mean it. I’m glad that I have that problem too because I usually sing just to sing, not to worship you. So help me to sing what I mean.
Oh, also I’ve been having some doubts about how I know you are the truth and how I can present you to people like redacted. God, I believe in you. You have changed my life. I can’t wait to give my TEC talk because I really want people to know you are loved. But when I think about redacted, I’m either scared to tell them about you because I don’t want to lose their friendship, or I feel like I’m not a good example of a Christian. So just help me to be strong and know the words to say when an opportunity arises. Also help me to love redacted enough to tell them what I believe is the truth.
God, I don’t want to come back from camp radically different because I’m hoping that if I was living for you before camp. But I have learned some new things and you’ve changed me. I just don’t want this to be an up-and-down thing, conform to the world and then I come to camp, get on a spiritual high, but everyone about you, and then fall back into the world’s standards. I want this to be a more stable thing and I know that it is much more stable than it was two years ago, so that’s a good thing.
Wow, it’s really cold out here. Is session starting soon because everyone is going to The Malt. Well, there’s no one there anymore so I guess not.
Oh God, I’ve been thinking about redacted a lot and I gave them into your hands. Your time, if it’s right, is good timing for me. I don’t want to mess things up or start something that shouldn’t be started. So yeah, I have at least a year (probably) before the next level if that’s going to happen. God, I don’t know the future and I know that I’ve been planning to head but I give it to you. If I have a relationship with redacted it will be built on you and it will be on your time.
Also help me to love and accept my family I was having a hard time going to Oakenwald and just helped me to realize that my family consists of people who care, just like these people at camp.
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