Age: 16 years old
What’s my problem? I had a completely self-centered day today and it was miserable. Guess what you got out of it? Well you got to watch TV for a couple of hours instead of spending time with your best friend, you got to sleep instead of spending time with your best friend, you showed redacted hatred and probably led them further away from finding their own best friend, and all I can say is… Was it worth it? Did those shows on TV for fill your life? Did being rude to redacted brighten your day? Not at all!!! I still had a miserable day And I was still in a bad mood. Until… A sign from the heavens smacked me in the face. I have to laugh at my stupidity. There it all was, right in front of me. Redacted saying, so who wants to help me clean? Wow could it possibly mean they wanted a bit of help? Well of course, but why on Earth would I help them? So, silence filled the air, which I escaped by heading off to my room. I had better things to do, like spend time with God! How could know those intentions could be evil? I wasn’t going to my room to spend time with God because I was dying to talk to him, I mean, I avoided him the whole day by doing things I wanted to do, no, I went to spend time with him to avoid helping out redacted. Now, go figure, but those are the wrong intentions, and God showed me, through another even more obvious sign. Through a book, he made it a bit too obvious, even for me, to not understand. There, in the fifth chapter of He Chose the Nails were the words on how God gave us signs, how dense we can be. Now, that’s a little too obvious to miss the point about signs. I mean it says it all there. Obviously, God wanted me to help redacted, to put aside my selfishness and help redacted. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t hear God this time. So,… What was it you wanted me to do again? I asked redacted. “So it would be so great if you raked the yard, I would really appreciate it” ( or something like that) replied redacted. So naturally, I agreed. It was the first unselfish thing I did all day! I mean, God earlier told me to spend time with him and not watch TV. I pretended I didn’t here, because my selfish heart I wanted to and felt I already did enough for God (I hate to admit). Glad he has signs to slap me in the face. Then redacted called. They told me how they had been invited to a TEC party. Again, I felt left out and forgotten. Then off on a pity party. After I hung up, I went out to rake for my savior and I thought about my jealousy. I realize, I love my friends so much, and I feel hurt when I feel they don’t love me. But that’s not all true. I have been feeling unloved, but God showed me I’m wrong. Redacted called me to see why I missed small group and I said I was missed. Redacted called, concerned about if I got into driver’s training. Redacted called out of the blue to talk. I have so many people who love me, and I have so many friends. But, I see that God wants me to turn to him first. He loves me more than anyone, and when I feel unloved, I am forgetting about him. So, I believe that he has been testing me. he may have me feel unloved here on Earth so I turned everything over to him and love him with all of my heart. When I do that, everything else in life should fall into place. So, God, I’m so sorry about being so selfish, but thank you for teaching me a lesson and making it so obvious that you really are here for me. I needed that and what’s more, I know you knew that. Thank you for loving me, and I love you so much. I want to grow in you so much more so I can show others that love I have for you. Thanks!
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